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They want you without the responsibilities and commitment that come with.

They value you when you tell ’em to get lost and dry up the charm when you’re expecting them to deliver. Once you see that they’re all talk and little or no action, take the big hint and do for the both of you what they’re not able to do – end it because you mean what you say and say what you mean and have the follow through in action to go with it.

The problem is of course that the type of person who would hang around knowing that you want something different (or at least that you profess to) or who would keep a foothold in your life and be pretty damn disruptive while still coming back with the same paltry offering that you didn’t want or even less, is actually the type of person that you need to ensure that you do right by you because…

they are really only thinking about things from their perspective and what makes them comfortable without really giving a great deal of thought to your comfort levels.

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This situation will be all too familiar to you if you’ve thought stuff like, What the hell do they want with me?

It’s also a reality check – you need to fully evaluate the situation and rein your feelings in.

It doesn’t mean that they’re shady (although they might be) but it does mean that you’re incompatible on what you both want out of the relationship which likely signals a clash of values.

Remember that they can’t stay or keep returning if you’re no longer there. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.

Column #04 Florida I’m in Jacksonville Florida, camping out in a Starbucks about two miles from the hotel I’m staying in, which is packed with people getting ready for 2018.

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